I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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