32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
