you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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