Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
