Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
