Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
