a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
