After last night, I could never be a politician.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
