i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
