It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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