im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
