Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
