Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have fence marks all over my body
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
