is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
