he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
