I think my fart just growled at me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
