Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
