New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
