He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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