hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize