You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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