the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
