He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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