True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
