i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
