i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
