Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
