worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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