i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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