The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
