don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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