whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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