How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
