On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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