what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
