You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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