You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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