Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
