i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
