I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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