i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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