yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
