Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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