i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
