In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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