yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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