everyone is single if you try hard enough
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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