so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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