Sry I called you an 8
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
