I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
