Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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