Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize