we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
