Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
