he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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