If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
