saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
