Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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