living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
