In America we eat man semen.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
