miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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