He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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