You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i believe in u and ur pee
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize