She bit a glass in half.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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