just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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