i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
